Reviewed by Tara Rastelli

You’re caught in the middle and it’s a real bummer! In your head you understand that your parents have no choice. They have to give most of their time and attention to your autistic younger brother. But in your heart you resent the fact that there’s not much of anything left for you. They never find any time to listen to you when you want tot tell them something or ask them for anything. They’re so tired all the time that they have little energy left to do anything with you, like go to a ball game or a movie.

As if your resentment and anger weren’t bad enough to handle, there’s the guilt. A lot of times you feel guilty that it’s your kid brother who is the one with the disorder and not you. You’re ashamed sometimes because you’re jealous of him for getting all of your mom and dad’s energy and efforts. But you are not alone! Your feelings of frustration, resentment, and anger are all normal.

Living with an autistic child in the family is very hard. The fear experienced by both parents and other children in the family is usually caused by their feeling of powerlessness. No matter what they do or how hard they try, they may not be able to get through the wall of silence and rejection which autism builds. You probably already know that autism is nobody’s fault. It’s a developmental disorder which lasts throughout life. By the time a child is two or three, parents notice he or she is locked into his own non-communicating world. Children with this disability can be slightly autistic or severely autistic. If your sibling is extremely autistic, you and your family have probably had to go through lots of his behavior problems, like hyperactivity, hitting and hurting other people, sleeping and eating difficulties and even cutting himself or harming himself in other ways.

Even when you’re feeling your most neglected or unappreciated in the family concentrate on how IMPORTANT you are! You are important in helping your parents struggle with this family problem; you are important in giving affection and attention to your autistic brother even though he may not give it back; you are important as a role model of sensitivity and strength to others with disabled people in their families.

In dealing with people who don’t understand autism, and are not tolerant of people with differences, you will have to be patient. Share with them what you know about autism; be a role model for those who are less open-minded and educated about individuals with disabilities.