|
Overcome shyness - If you find yourself feeling uncomfortably shy in social situations, here are some tips:
Plan ahead. If you know that you're going to meet a new person, think out what you might say. Sure, it may sound silly, but it helps. Having a little mental conversation can make the real thing a little easier.
Take little steps. As the old saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day. It can be difficult to face your fear, whether it be shyness or anything else. Instead of trying to throw yourself into a situation where you know you'll be uncomfortable, set little goals for yourself to meet along the way. For example, instead of kicking yourself for not asking Bob to the movies on Friday, think on a smaller scale - be happy that you had the courage to make small talk in the hallway.
Jump right in! OK, so this may seem to be contradictory to the last tip. It is. But sometimes, the anticipation is the worst part. This is probably the best way to go if the opportunity is fleeting - for example, trying out for a school play. If you miss your chance, you will never know how great you could have been.
Relax! It's much harder to be nervous if you relax. Try thinking of a peaceful place, like a beach or a favorite spot to lounge around the house. Take a deep breath and relax.
Imagine the situation going exactly the way you want it to go. Visualize everything going off without a hitch. This process, called visualization, will help you to relax and help you prepare for what's ahead. Also, if you are relaxed when you imagine the situation, you will associate the real thing with a feeling of relaxation and calmness (a phenomenon known as classical conditioning).
Practice makes perfect! As annoying as it may feel, those adults are on to something. Things really do get easier with practice. If you're nervous about an interview or an introduction or any other social situation, rehearse what you want to say with a friend or family member. Saying it out loud will help to familiarize yourself with the points you want to make and build confidence in your own abilities. It is also a good idea to practice confident body language - good posture, eye contact, and a minimum amount of fidgeting.
Remember what you're good at. This will help to build your confidence, making you more relaxed.
Help a shy friend - if you notice that a friend is really shy, but wants help coming out of his or her shell…here are some helpful hints:
Never pass a judgment. If something that is extremely difficult for a friend seems easy as pie to you, don't criticize and mock. Nobody should be made to feel as if his behavior is wrong or stupid, regardless if that person has low self-assuredness or not.
Help them to help themselves. Suggest steps or mini-goals that at friend can set for herself. Knowing that she has your support will make her all the more eager to attain these goals and move forward.
Practice tactics with them. Offer to practice a big interview or something else they may be nervous about. Again, knowing that someone is willing to help makes the task that less daunting.
Relate to them. If a person is nervous about a social situation that is similar to one that you have experienced, tell them about it. It helps to know how others get through things. Reassure them that "if I can do it, so can you!" and a difficult conversation or new experience is not the end of the world.
Understand that everybody gets nervous and shy. Let your shy friend or family member know that you know where they are coming from, because you have felt shy and nervous too.
Recognize Shyness
- Nervousness when meeting new people
- Fear of branching out in social situations
- Fear of speaking up in a group or group activity
- Timidity and soft-spoken demeanor in social situations
- Fear of sharing opinions or been seen negatively
*Almost everybody experiences shyness and nervousness when faced with a new task or challenge. It is only when chronic shyness controls your life that it becomes a problem.
Recognize Social Phobia
- Intense fear of social situations -- fear of interacting with others
- Intense fear of being judged and looked down upon by others
Behaviors that may stem from this fear are:
- Self-inflicted isolation and reclusive behavior
- Excessive time alone or performing anti-social activities
- Conscious avoidance of social situations (refusal to partake in group activities, intense preference to remain at home)
- Difficulty initiating conversation due to fear of other's reactions
Treat Social Phobia
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - CBT is a type of therapy that revolves around to concept of behavior modification. In CBT, the therapist encourages the patient to change his or her pattern of thinking and self-perception. CBT is useful in the treatment of social anxiety disorder/social phobia. The patient can understand his or her fear and begin to change this mentality from the inside. Gradually, the patient is faced with his or her fears and uses his/her changed perception of the fear to overcome it.
Medication - Antidepressants, tranquilizers, and beta-blockers are all used to ease anxiety. The latter is used most frequently to prevent the symptoms of anxiety, such as shaking and sweating.
|