How do you know if you have an anger problem?

The way to know if anger has become a problem is usually to look at its effects on other people.  If someone gets angry very often, very easily, and very strongly, and if they stay angry for a long time afterwards, they may not even notice it themselves, or think that they are the ones causing problems; they are more likely to blame the people or things they get mad at.  But it is the people they get angry at, and the other people around them, that suffer the most. 

Frequent, out-of-proportion, and uncontrolled anger can cause big problems at home, at school, and in life, for yourself and for everyone else who has to deal with it.  The angry person can turn anger inward and hurt himself, as well as lashing out and hurting other people.  Instead of exploding on the spot, they could sometimes sit on their anger and bitterness for a long time before striking out.  Problem anger can lead to physical violence and verbal, emotional, or sexual abuse and harassment.  And it can certainly take the fun out of life.

Friends, family, teachers, or counselors are usually the ones who raise the issue of an anger management problem with somebody.  This can be hard to do, and the person doesn’t always take them seriously.  But accepting the problem and choosing to take steps to help it are better than facing the consequences of hurting yourself or somebody else, or ruining your relationship with somebody.  By then it could seem like it's too late.

What can be the cause of someone's anger problems?

Personality:  Individual people deal with "triggers" in different ways.  Some people get angry easily, feel very strongly, and react very aggressively when they feel "pushed" by someone or something past a certain point.  They deal with "threats" confrontationally and combatively, rather than by negotiating, listening, and compromising.  Once they are upset, some people tend to lose sight of other people's feelings and point of view, and behave like there is only one person who matters.  These traits aren't "wrong," and these people aren't bad.  They just deal with conflicts and anger in ways that can cause problems with other people, if they aren't careful to understand and restrain their own natural tendencies in some cases.       

Stress: Being under a lot of stress or pressure, or being in a stressful environment, can make you feel irritable and short-tempered.  If stress is a big factor in your life, what seems like an anger problem could actually be a stress problem, and reducing the stress can make the anger problems go away too.

Hormones: You've heard it before, but your body goes through a lot of changes, starting before you even reach your teenage years.  Your emotions change, too.  It is perfectly normal to feel like "everything" is changing, because a lot of stuff really is.  As your body and mind develop, there can often be periods where you have up-and-down, roller-coaster emotions during a brief time ("mood swings"), or are otherwise strongly emotional in various ways.  These developmental periods are normal, and they are temporary; they can also be difficult to deal with at the time.  But it's not impossible.      
 
Example of others:  A lot of how you behave comes from watching and learning from others.  If a parent, an older sibling, or another role model you learn from tends to fly off the handle, you may learn to accept this behavior and do it yourself.  There are some behaviors that older people do that just aren't worth imitating; you don't have to follow a bad example just because it's there.  Be your own person, and express your anger in reasonable ways.   

What are some ways to manage anger?

Little kids can throw temper tantrums.  You shouldn't.  You're older, more mature, and you are expected to deal with anger in responsible ways.  Here are some ways to express your anger in responsible, healthy, and constructive ways: