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How to Make Your Parents Understand Your Music
Music is a source of tension in at least one fifth of surveyed households. Ideally you should be able to share your interests with your family. Sometimes you have to work your way up to that. Some families find it easiest for each individual to keep his music to himself. As long as it doesn’t get too loud, no one questions the content. Because it’s best to share your tastes with your family here are some tips on getting your message and the message of your music through:
TIP 1:
Music and beliefs/actions can be related, but for the most part are two entirely different things. Most of us use music for entertainment and expression. The majority of the music out there today is just something to relax to or dance along with. So, let your parents know that you don’t look at music as an instructional guide to life – rather, as a soundtrack to go along with your daily activities.
TIP 2:
Explain the dangers of being too sheltered. Protection is what parents are there for. They have been through life, so don’t underestimate them as a resource. However, in this case, there can be too much of a good thing. Let your parents know that although you appreciate their input, you need to learn how to deal with decisions on your own. Everyone handles situations differently and that includes deciding what you do and do not want to listen to. Also, remind them that you get most of your ‘street education’ indoors – at school or watching television. Not in class, but from your peers and not on late night television, but in the news.
TIP 3:
Separate the issues. Many parents worry that music will influence their kids to try drugs, become violent or devalue themselves or their sexuality. Let them know that they raised you to be smart enough to make decisions independent of the social pressure that music can put on you. Talk to your parents about the things that concern them related to your music. Then work together to separate those issues from your music.
TIP 4:
Explain to your parents the level on which you relate to your favorite bands/artists. It may be difficult for your parents to understand how you can relate to an angry violent rapper or an angst-filled alterna-punk rocker and still be their sweet little baby. When you look at it from that point of view, it makes sense! While they may never understand how you can stand to listen to “all that noise”, at least they can be taught that you won’t completely change from hearing it. At least the artist or band is expressing himself or herself through music.
How to Understand Your Parents’ Music
You want them to understand you, but what about doing the same for your parents. Yeah, sometimes you think that their music is slow and whiny…yeah, sometimes you don’t care how gifted Yanni is, but you can pretend. The first step in getting your parents to understand and respect your tastes is to try to listen to and accept theirs.
TIP 1:
Schedule a time when you can listen to some of your music. Explain what it means and then listen to some of theirs and get their explanations. You may find that you are getting the same payback from your very different styles of music.
TIP 2:
Ask your parents what music they liked when they were young that your grandparents thought was crazy noise.
TIP 3:
Find at least one band or artist that you can agree on. Something that is a little more “middle of the road” and go to a concert together.
If all else fails...
Agree to disagree, but appreciate and respect each other’s musical tastes
How to Find Out about Concerts in Your Area
You really should know this! How would you feel if you favorite artist or band came through your town and you missed it? One way to avoid this is to join the fan club of your favorite band. They will send you e-mails when there is important band information and tell you how you can get the inside tip on advanced ticket sales. If you’re not into fan club emails – check these sites for up-to-date concert information:
How to Make the Best Mixes
The book and film High Fidelity outlines the rules for making a mix as follows:
The most important part of a mix tape is the first three songs. They should grab the listener and keep his or her interest without giving away all of the excitement of good music that is to come. Start slow, take it up and then bring it down. You never want to start with all of the same type of music, but it should blend.
TIP 1:
Always use high quality tapes or CDs. The lasting ability and quality of sound on the tape or CD is worth the extra money
TIP 2:
Know how much space you have on the tape or CD. Try not to record all the way to the end of one side or begin right at the beginning of a new tape. Having a song start in the middle of a beat or cut off in the middle or at the end really stinks.
TIP 3:
(Optional) Begin with a sample from a movie or a short quote. This helps you to remember what is on the mix. If you’re a bit disorganized and tend to lose the cases, this is a really good idea.
TIP 4:
Use an upbeat opener. Follow it up with something that has a faster tempo and a pumping bass line. Then lead into the rest of the tape with something more similar to what the majority of your tastes are.
TIP 5:
Starting with a radio hit doesn’t make you a teeny-bopping loser. Start with something that everyone will like and slowly bring in your more unique taste later. This way you get to listen to whatever you want because you are tricking everyone into thinking that they want to hear it to. (This sly little move is great for car trips
TIP 6:
Make sure your songs flow well with each other. You're not trying to shock people with your radical and weird music taste. You want people to get into a groove and think…wow, what a cool mix – by a cool person – with cool taste in music.
TIP 7:
Make a mix just for you. Think of it this way: you are relaxing to a few soothing tunes that you put on your mix (say 3 in a row) and just as you drift off to a daydreaming sleep, you are hit with Metallica. The band rocks, but they don’t exactly rock you to sleep. It works the other way around, too. If you are listening to a mix to get pumped for a game or to go out clubbing, don’t throw in your favorite song by the sappy group you listen to after being dumped. That’s a different mix entirely!
How to Make Your Own Music
Private Lessons can be expensive and they can put a serious dent in your social agenda. For some cheaper alternatives try taking an online course, buying a video to learn an instrument or practice singing, or just buy a book about the type of music that interests you. These are all much cheaper than private lessons and they give you more flexibility in your schedule. You can fit in a quick lesson whenever you have 15 minutes to an hour. If you feel you can’t progress without a professional teacher, consider public (semi-private) lessons. The classes are usually very small with a lot of personal attention and you might find someone to practice with.
For information on semi-private lessons, see you town recreation department.
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