Our society expects different things of guys and girls, especially when it comes to teen sex and pregnancy. You’ve got different issues to deal with, so check out the advice for YOUR life.

If you’re a guy…
You probably get mixed messages from our society: “Love ‘em and leave ‘em” and “Be a father to your children.” You’re a “stud” if you have sex, but you also risk ruining your life if you get a girl pregnant or contract an STD like AIDS. So what are you supposed to do? Obviously the only sure way to NOT get a girl pregnant and protect yourself from STDs is to practice abstinence (that means not having sex, usually ‘til you’re married or in a committed relationship). But if you DO have sex, don’t risk it – ALWAYS use a condom. This is the only birth control method that you have control over, which will protect you from both STDs AND an unwanted pregnancy. Don’t rely on the girl to do all the birth control planning; you’re an equal partner in any pregnancy that might occur!!

If you DO get a girl pregnant, be responsible. You probably see a lot of examples of guys disappearing when a pregnancy occurs, but that’s not the right thing to do. Communicate your wishes to the girl, her parents, and your parents. You should have some part in deciding what is done (whether it’s becoming a parent, giving the child up for adoption, or terminating the pregnancy.) Remember that the pregnancy is half yours, and if the girl ends up keeping the baby, you’re going to have a legal responsibility to it (for example, child support).

If you’re a girl…
You know that a pregnancy is, biologically speaking, going to be a bigger burden on you than on the guy. That means that you’ve got to be extra careful that you take care of yourself and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do. Too many girls who get pregnant still lay the blame on the guy misleading them or convincing them to have sex. If you’re not ready and it’s not YOUR decision, don’t do it!! Remember that the only sure way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence (waiting to have sex ‘til you’re married or in a committed relationship). No matter what other birth control method you’re using, you’re risking getting pregnant or contracting an STD.

If you know that you’re pregnant, get help!! Find out what your options are, and involve both your family and your partner’s family. Remember that this isn’t just “your problem” – no matter what the guy says. You know that old saying, “it takes two to tango”? A decision will need to be made about what to do (putting the baby up for adoption, becoming a teen parent, or terminating the pregnancy).

Note: If you are gay or lesbian, you probably do not need to worry about getting pregnant. If you are sexually active, however, you will still need to protect yourself against STDs.

Looking ahead
It’s a fact – teens who look forward to a bright future are more careful about taking care of themselves. Think about it: if you’ve got big dreams to run a company someday, or to travel around the world, or maybe even to become a professional musician, why would you risk that and have unprotected sex? When you realize that you’ve got important and cool stuff in your future, you’re much more likely to make the right decisions RIGHT NOW so that you can enjoy things later. Getting pregnant as a teen doesn’t fit into most people’s plans. In fact, it usually just messes up those plans. Don’t become a statistic – you’ve got too much to do in your life!