If you or someone you know is a victim of a bully, it’s perfectly normal to feel anxious, insecure, and to lose some of your sense of self-esteem or self-worth. Sometimes, the bullying makes you feel stupid, ashamed, or even ugly. There is also the danger that you may start to believe the bully is right – that you ARE unattractive, dumb, afraid or a complete failure.

Maybe if you knew more about what a bully looks like you’d realize that he or she is the “loser”…not you. Researchers from the Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence report:

Boys are more likely to bully than girls. When girls do bully they more often use sneaky forms of torment like totally excluding others from joining or being a part of anything they do, or talking behind other people’s back just loud enough so they can hear or spreading lies about someone's sex life, or family, or habits. Boys usually use physical force in stead of words to keep others out of the group. They bully with their fists and their feet.

Whether male or female, bullies are look-a-likes in many ways.  They:

• May be physically bigger and stronger than their victims
• Have a strong need to dominate and control their peers
• Are often hot tempered, easily angered, and easily frustrated
• Are likely to have negative attitudes about school, and get lower grades
• Are defiant and aggressive toward adults and authority figures
• Are generally less popular except with other bullies

No matter how much you know in your heart that it’s the bully who is the misfit, it’s still painful to be at his or her mercy. One way to fight back is to talk out your fear, fury or frustration with a trusted peer or adult, a teacher, parent, grandparent, or neighbor. Always remember in your darkest moments, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It may often seem like you are, but you are not. Seek and you shall find others who have had to face bullies in their own lives, and who understand your anxiety and anger.  They will listen to you and give whatever support they can. In helping you see, its the bully not you who should be totally "dis"ed.