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Cope with Death and Dying
Seek out caring people, either in a support group or family and friends who are experiencing similar emotions or understand your feelings
Express your feelings openly (crying, screaming)
Maintain good health (exercise, eat a balanced diet, rest, don’t depend on medications or alcohol and drugs)
Put off major life changes if possible (moving, switching jobs, re/marrying, having a child, getting a divorce)
Be well informed (reduces insecurity and out of control feeling)
Faith for some is helpful (talking with religious leaders or visiting places of worship)
Rituals offer comfort (plant a tree in memory, attend funeral, wake, memorial service)
Have patience
Seek professional help from a counselor, psychologist, or healthcare provider
Help a Grieving Child
How children express their grief depends on their age, relationship they had with the person who died, how people around them grieve and the role the deceased played in their lives. Kids want to be assured their basic needs will be met.
Be honest about the death by offering an easy explanation to rebuild their trust
Talk about the person who died
Encourage questions (children may worry about future, how family will manage financially, what changes will occur due to the death
Find them outlets for anger (sports, arts, talking, hobbies)
Help them express feelings/lead by example/show them healthy way to deal with loss
Support Loved Ones Who Grieve
Allow/encourage to talk about feelings; be a good listener
Be patient
Be careful what/how you say certain things/avoid cliches (“in a better place”)
Offer to help (run errands, baby-sit, cook)
Ask individual how you can help
Offer to attend a support program/help locate resources for victims or family assistance (legal issues can be difficult on those left behind)
Celebrate or honor the birthday or anniversary of the deceased
Help make a scrapbook, photo album, keep a memory box or write a poem for the person who died
Allow the person to grieve in his or her own way; facilitate rituals
Get Closure
Don’t simply let time pass; there are things one can do to move past a loss
Don’t use “get over” because although you want to move on, you do not want to forget the deceased
Don’t focus on a time frame. Sorrow can be a slow process and you shouldn’t feel bad if not recovered by a certain time
Eventually, accept the death and learn to live successfully with the loss
Grieve or Mourn Loss of Life
There are different stages of grieving or mourning but there are ongoing debates as to whether or not a person must go through all stages and in what order, if any, a person passes through the stages of grieving. It makes sense that a person would be in shock or disbelief that a loved one is actually gone, and that a person may not be able to acknowledge that immediately. It also seems logical that a person would be preoccupied with thoughts of the dead and miss the loved one a lot. Feelings of confusion, anger and disorganization might seem natural as an individual’s life is seriously altered when a huge loss occurs. There must be time spent reorganizing one’s life and eventually getting on with normal daily activities, and even developing new relationships.
Allow yourself to experience emotions
Be aware of your feelings and don’t rush yourself through any emotions by letting a person convince you that your mourning period should be over. It can take months or years to completely move on after a loss. There will be good and bad days, and maybe the occasional breakdown or period of depression from missing the departed so much. Realize that moving on does not mean forgetting the deceased, but you must try to be thankful for the life you do have and those you still can enjoy. It is acceptable and necessary to grieve so that you can move past the loss and through the pain. If you don’t, it can be harmful to your well being. Coping with death in a healthy manner is vital to your mental health.
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