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Setting a realistic curfew with parents
Not to state the obvious, but your parents didn't grow up in the same world that you are growing up in. It has become more acceptable to stay out late and more often with friends. These outings are generally unsupervised and every so often they involve activities that your parents may not be thrilled about (wink, wink). It is important to be mature and speak to your parents calmly about what kind of freedoms you want when it comes to curfews. It is just as important to listen to their point of view on the matter. Still, it is perfectly acceptable to remind your parents that when they were young, they probably wanted more privileges than they were given. It is not acceptable to say that when they were young, dinosaurs roamed the earth. Remember the point is to get on their good side. A good way to set up a curfew that doesn't cramp your style is to increase your current curfew by increments; even if it is just to stay out fifteen minutes later each time. Give your parents time to get used to each curfew increase and voice their concerns as your curfew gets later. The following are ways to extend your permanent curfew:
Make sure that chores at home are done before you go out - that way there is nothing for your parents to complain about when you get home
Always be on time for your current curfew, no matter how lame it is
Be very open with your plans and call if they change - anything you can do to show that you are safe and can handle a later curfew in a mature manner will increase the chance that you will get to stay out
Once you earn their trust, maintain it. Don't sneak out and don't break curfew because you will be right back where you started - at home at 10 on a Saturday night.
Overcoming your parents' concerns
So, your curfew is unbearably early and your parents have condemned you to being a huge dork. The only way to overcome your social life's death sentence is to understand where it came from. Listening to your parents concerns and trying to see where they are coming from is the first step to becoming the man or woman about town that you are meant to be.
If your parents ask, "What can you do after 12, that you can't do before 12?" You may need to bring out the big guns. Ask them to list the specific activities that make them nervous. More often then not, once your parents say the list aloud, they will realize that you would never do most of them.
If you have heard the words, "I never stayed out that late and it was safer when I was your age," you may need to update your parent's thinking. Tell them that maturity is relative. This means that people raised in a particular time and environment adapt to it and are brought up with the skills to survive in it.
Let your parents meet your friends. Being secretive about who you are hanging out with will only make your parents suspicious. Bring your friends over to your house a few times and your parents will be less strict when you want to hang out with them.
Fighting Curfew Laws - (see www.curfew.org for more information and to download prewritten letters and speeches, as well as tee-shirt, poster and sticker ideas)
Hundreds of years ago, curfews were used to control the lower classes because it was assumed that people with lower status committed all crimes. For the most part, that prejudice has long since gone away, but it is replaced by prejudice against the younger population. Based on the same theory that crimes and indecent activities occur after a certain time of night when there is minimal supervision, curfews limited by age have become a serious issue.
Before taking action make sure that you are well equipped with articles, court decisions and quotes that will be useful in debates.
If necessary, be ready to put together a peaceful protest; however, be certain that it is calm and controlled so that the message will get across
Know what you want to say before you say it. Having an organized idea of what you want to discuss will ensure that you point is heard even under the pressure of public speaking
Getting a curfew extension for special occasions
Emergency! Do you desperately need a curfew extension for a special occasion such as prom, a date, a late movie with friends or just to get a break from your normal routine? Here are some quick fix ideas for a temporary curfew solution:
Bargain: Don't beg and whine, negotiate. Agree to stay in the rest of the weekend or take on some extra chores for that week. When your parents see how much that one night means to you, they will be more agreeable
Schedule: Write a detailed outline including who you will be with, what you will be doing and give phone numbers. Doing this without your parents having to ask will definitely impress the judges.
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