Imagine visiting a parent in jail – going through a metal detector and then either meeting in a confined and heavily guarded area, or talking on a phone system through Plexiglas. Maybe you’ve been looking forward to finally seeing your parent; but it’s probably the quiet, unarranged meetings that you miss the most, like watching something on TV together, or talking over breakfast. Or maybe you’re just visiting because you know you should, or because you don’t have much choice. Regardless of the reason behind your visit, it’s sure to evoke a whole range of emotions – from happiness to anger.

Being the child of an imprisoned parent is a tough position to be in. You know that your parent is supposed to have it all together, and should be guiding YOU to make the right decisions. So what are you supposed to do when your parent makes a mistake – maybe a big mistake – that lands him or her in prison? All of a sudden, you might feel like you’ve got to take care of yourself, because no one else can. But remember to treat your other parent and relatives as sources of guidance; you’re not alone! Plus, there are about two million other kids going through similar situations; imagine all the help and support available if you could just connect. Be sure to check out our Resources page, and get in touch with organizations that specialize in helping kids and teens of incarcerated parents. You can also get help by discussing what’s bothering you, or posting up your story, here at W2K.

Having a support system is really vital for teens with one or both parents in jail. Whether or not you decide to tell others at school, you might feel awkward when the subject comes up. Even innocent questions from other teens or adults in your community – like “What does your father do for a living?” or “How are your parents doing?” – might make you feel embarrassed or ready to change the subject. It’s important to remember that, even if you’re worried your parent’s actions will reflect upon you, you are still your own person. It can be tough when there are so many popular beliefs and sayings that describe kids in terms of their parents: “A chip off the old block,” or “The apple never falls far from the tree.” But you’re not a statistic, and you’re not boxed in to be a certain type of person. Do what you can to follow your OWN footsteps.

If your friend’s parent is in jail, you might be wondering what you can do to help. Showing your support and friendship is probably the best thing you can do. Let your friend know that you’re there to talk, whenever your friend is ready.

Whether your parent is going to jail and you want advice, or you’re not sure what to do to help your friend who’s in that situation, W2K is here to help. Check out “Defined” for more info, and “How To” for ideas to make things better.