Any way you look at it, becoming part of a stepfamily is a big change. Your family is made up of the people you go to for love and support, and adding one or more new people to that mix can seem like a recipe for disaster. Suddenly home isn’t like it used to be – maybe your stepdad is hanging up his favorite pictures on the living room wall, or moving in his comfortable old armchair. If you have stepsiblings, you might find yourself sharing space and feeling like you haven’t got any place to go that’s just yours.

Moving into a new place with your stepfamily is just as tough – then you’ve got to get used to a whole new setting! Your parent might move into a new home with your stepfamily and that means that you’re moving in too – even if it’s just for visiting. It might be hard to get used to at first. Maybe you don’t like what your stepmom and dad made for dinner, or you simply can’t stand the new “house rules.” At first it feels like you don’t belong there.

It’s always difficult at first – no one will say otherwise! But it doesn’t have to be impossible. And the good news is that things can only improve with time. Believe it or not, those people that seem like strangers now will feel like your family soon. Issues of personal space, new boundaries, and new relationships will all work themselves out. You might never find your stepmom’s jokes particularly funny, and you might always wonder about your stepdad’s crazy taste in home decorations, but you will be able to call them part of your family.

After awhile, your stepfamily will probably seem like a really positive part of your life. Think about it – twice the family means twice the support and twice the celebrations. Maybe that’s why one organization now calls stepfamilies “Bonus Families.” Read on under “Defined” and “How To” for the low-down on how to get along with your stepfamily.