Learning how to really communicate with your parents isn’t easy – it takes practice and patience. Your parents see you as a kid still, even though you see yourself as a young, responsible adult. And your parents might not trust you as much as you think they should. So when you ask your parents for something, or you try to tell them about your day, they might just not get it. Communicating with your parents requires that you see things from their perspective. That means that you might have to adapt a little to get your point across!!

This problem goes both ways – chances are, you misunderstand your parents just as much as they misunderstand you! Imagine you come in late one night after hanging out with your friends and your Mom’s sitting up waiting for you. See if you can tell what’s really being said in this conversation:

Mom: Where have you been? It’s midnight; you know your curfew is 11 PM on school nights!

You: It’s no big deal, I just lost track of the time.

Mom: No big deal? What were you out for so late at night?

You: We were all hanging out at Christina’s house.

Mom: Why did her parents let you all stay so late? And who’s “we”?

You: Alex, Iva, and me. And her parents aren’t even THERE. That’s why we were hanging out with Christina, so she wouldn’t get freaked being home alone.

Mom: You should have called me then, it’s your responsibility to keep track of the time!!

You: Chill already!

Mom: Don’t tell me to “chill.” For the next week you’re not going out after dinner. You need to learn to be accountable for what you do.

You: But Christina’s house is only like a five-minute walk from here, and we weren’t doing anything wrong! It’s not like I’m in a gang or doing drugs or something that’s actually bad.

Think you know how this conversation went? Maybe you think that “Mom” totally overreacted and was completely unreasonable in grounding you. But put yourself in Mom’s shoes: you’re out late and she has no idea where you’ve been. She waits for an hour, wondering if something bad has happened and why you haven’t called her. Then you walk in the door, as if nothing happened. She’s been scared and now she’s angry that you scared her. Communicating with your parents is all about showing respect and seeing things from their perspective. You may think it’s annoying, but trust us – every teen has to deal with rules; their for our own good as you’ve probably heard a thousand times. Read on to learn how you can avoid arguments like this one!