All friends are going to fight at some point.  It happens.  Some friends will bicker and fight constantly just as part of their dynamic.  Other times, a friendship can suddenly erupt into a huge argument that leaves feelings seriously injured and the relationship itself reeling.  In the moment, a fight with a friend can make you feel betrayed, angry, frustrated, sad, anxious, hurt, confused, and so much more. You may start to feel like you will never be friends with the person again.  All of this is normal.  It happens when conflicts arise in relationships- even between adults.  Don’t let the initial rush of emotions control your good sense, though.  When it passes, you may just find that more than anything else, you miss your friend. 

In the heat of anger, people say and do things they never would otherwise.  Once that sort of damage is done, it can’t be undone.  The age old trick to making sure you don’t let your rage make you say something you’ll later regret is to pause when you feel yourself getting angry, then count slowly to ten before you say anything more.  Others prefer to just remove themselves from the situation entirely – walk away until you’ve cooled off.  What do you do when you get angry?

Sometimes the hardest moments come after a big fight.  These are the times when people have calmed down and absorbed what the argument is about.  Maybe you realized you totally overreacted and have to go through the shame and guilt of it.  Or maybe the words or actions that made you mad in the first place cut more sharply the more you think about them?  Maybe you’re just very sad and sorry that the fight ever happened?  It’s normal to go through a range of emotions after a fight, it’s how you deal with those emotions that’s either going to make or break the future of your friendships.

For too many people, fights are about pride and winning.  But fights generally aren’t at all about “winning.”  Who wins if you both lose a valuable friendship?  Who wins if you are both constantly angry, constantly in pain?  Nobody wins that kind of a fight.  When you let go of the pride and egos, however, you may find that you are not only able to get through the fight, but that you might be better friends for it.