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Dealing With Health Issues: I have a friend who…
Is risking his or her life with reckless and dangerous behavior.
If you think that a friend is risking bodily harm, it is vital that you let somebody know. A person with an eating disorder, alcohol problem, drug addiction, or any other high-risk behavior is putting his or her life in jeopardy. While it may not be easy to talk to a friend about his problem, it may end up saving their life.
You may feel that by telling somebody about your friend, you are betraying his trust; but, think of the alternatives. Would you rather stand on the sidelines and watch a friend destroy his life? Even if he becomes angry with you, friends don’t usually stay angry for an extended period of time. Hopefully, their initial anger will fade into a sense of appreciation, even if they are not eager to show it.
Is in an abusive relationship but refuses to break up with the person.
DO NOT ALLOW THE ABUSE TO CONTINUE. Talk to your friend immediately. Abuse is never a sign of love or affection. If your friend does not listen to you, then talk to an adult who can help. DO NOT ALLOW THE ABUSE TO CONTINUE. Love is not fear, and abuse is never acceptable under any circumstance.
Dealing With Social Issues: I have a friend who…
Shoplifts and steals.
Here’s the thing: stealing is illegal. Period. The thrill of doing something bad might give your friend a temporary adrenaline high, but think of the risks. He could be banned from a store, forced to pay a large fee, or serve jail time. This is definitely an issue that should be talked about. Again, you can expect an adverse reaction: nobody wants to be told that he is wrong, but in this case, it’s the truth. Stealing is a crime. If you don’t speak up, the situation could get much worse. Bigger and more severe crimes may emerge from your friend’s need for that unlawful kick, leading of course to bigger and more severe consequences. And remember, even if it's only happened once and your friend promises he or she won't do it again; not saying anything is almost as bad as doing it yourself.
Dealing With Personal Issues: I have a friend who…
Doesn’t know I’ve been fooling around with his or her ex.
This can be a very touchy issue. If your friend broke up with his or her ex and the two of them are not on especially good terms, it may seem easier to keep it secret. By doing this, however, you run the risk of having him or her finding out through the gossip mill. In this case, your friend won’t only be angry that you are seeing his or her ex, but will be offended by the fact that you didn’t have the nerve to confess openly.
If you know that your friend and his or her ex broke up on a bad note, the best thing to do is resist temptation. Don’t date your friend's ex. If you decide that this person may be the love of your life talk to your friend about it beforehand. Even if they broke up and both of them seem to have "gotten over it", it is always a good idea to be honest about what’s going on. Don’t sneak around behind your friend's back. Lying and sneaking is no way to treat a friend.
Dealing With Scholastic Issues: I have a friend who…
Always cheats and never gets caught.
A friend who cheats on a test is only cheating him or herself. As cliché as it sounds, it’s true. You can’t learn if you don’t try. If your friend decides to cheat so he or she can do well in school, she is a walking contradiction. You do not advance by avoiding the hard stuff. Though it may not be appropriate to tell a teacher about a friend’s cheating ways, it is certainly a good idea to talk to the cheater.
Never does his or her homework and wants to use mine.
Everybody copies homework now and then. But if you find that your friend always has time to party and never has time to do work, then that is not good. If your friend is constantly asking you for work, he or she is taking advantage of your relationship. Again, it’s very important to talk to a friend who isn’t treating you with respect.
Talking to a friend about sensitive issues.
Talking to a person about their behavior is never easy. It is important that you are calm and reasonable. Here are some tips on how to effectively and kindly notify a friend of your concern.
Choose a quiet place where the two of you can have a focused and calm talk.
Be honest and specific, but don’t be brutal. Tell your friend directly what is concerning you, but make sure it does not turn into a personal attack.
Describe what you have observed, but try not to be judgmental. You need to inform your friend of his or her behavior, but never turn the conversation into a scolding.
Express how you are feeling. Let the person know why you are concerned.
Offer some advice. Think of ways you can help your friend to break his or her behavior.
Listening To What Your Friend Has To Say.
As crazy as it seems, your friend may have reasons for acting in a destructive manner. Let him or her tell you why he or she feels the need to do certain things or act a certain way.
Offer support. Make sure your friend knows that you are there for support. Friends help each other out, especially in times of crisis.
Don’t start an argument. Just let your friend know that you are concerned.
Seek professional help, especially if your friend is putting him or herself in bodily harm. Some issues are just too big to tackle on your own. Professional assistance, such as school health workers, teachers, or even parents, may be needed to correct a more serious problem.
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