We’ve got tips on talking to your parents so that they really hear you! Next time you find yourself driving somewhere with your Mom, or eating breakfast with your Dad, start up a conversation…

• Listen: Communication is a two-way street. You’ve got to listen (and show your parents that you’re listening!) to make sure that you and your parents are understanding each other.
• Respect: Show respect when you talk to your parents. Don’t interrupt, roll your eyes, or fling insults. They’ll be more likely to take you seriously if they know that you’re taking THEM seriously!
• Get your point across: Since parents don’t always know the lingo or understand how high school works these days, you might have to phrase stuff so that they’ll understand. Don’t expect them to know slang or be familiar with kids you barely know at school.
• Tone: Don’t yell – even if you’re annoyed or mad. Keeping a calm tone of voice will keep the conversation civil, instead of turning it into a yelling match.
• “I”: Talk about how YOU feel. Say “I feel totally ignored when you interrupt me” instead of “You interrupt me on purpose to make me feel bad!”
• Not always or never: Avoid saying stuff that starts with “You always” or “You never.” It’s pretty rare that someone ALWAYS does something, or NEVER remembers something. Avoid those words because when people hear them, they’re instantly become defensive!!
• The other side: Try to see things from your parent’s point of view, even if you think they’re hopelessly out of date or just plain wrong! If you don’t understand where they’re coming from, you won’t be able to show them why you feel differently.
• Be clear: If you have a specific agenda (like getting a higher allowance, your own room, or permission to go to a party), plan what you’re going to say. Think about why your parents should see things your way. When you finally have the actual conversation, you’ll be more prepared if you’ve thought it out!
• Pick your battles: Make sure that you care about the things you ask your parents for. Don’t waste time arguing over things you don’t really care about! And be careful about your timing – if you start talking about why you should have your own car when your parents are in a bad mood, they’re not going to be very receptive to your suggestions.

Avoid Arguments!
If you’re trying to talk during a stressful time, it might be especially hard to communicate with your parents. If you or your parents are angry, there are some things you can do to ease the tension:

• Keep calm: Keep a calm, low tone of voice. Resist the urge to interrupt or drown out your parent’s voice.
• Take a break: Call a time-out so you can both “regroup.” Use that time to really rethink your position. Why do you feel the way you do? Why do you disagree with your parents? Are your positions really completely opposite? Is there room for compromise?
• Listen closer: Try to figure out what your parent means. Why is your parent so set on something being his or her way? Is your parent trying to protect you?